


GFY

by hiddenlongings



Series: Dresden AU Series [17]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 04:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8735059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddenlongings/pseuds/hiddenlongings
Summary: I hope that we can all come to an agreement to treat this as either a drug induced nightmare or a collective hallucination.





	

The Leanansidhe was more prone to maniacal laughter than Loki had been. Granted, Tony thought, she also monologued a lot less. You win some you lose some. Until now that was. Thor had hit her hard enough with his hammer that it had seemed to knock some of the giggles out of her.

 

The Fae’s hands crackled with energy as she erected a magical barrier around herself.  Had Tony mentioned before that he hated magic. Because he really, really did.

 

“Yes Tony,” Natasha said, long suffering infusing her voice, “You have said before that you hate magic. We are all aware.”

 

When he fired them Tony’s repulsors didn’t even put so much as a dent in the translucent force field around her.

 

“Enough of this.” She shrilled. “I will see you all under my command.” Her hands crackled again as all of the Avengers’ began to hammer at her shield. Trying to get to her before she could cast whatever spell she had in mind.

 

The Hulk’s devastating two handed blows seemed to be doing the most damage. His massive fists leaving spider web cracks in the shield that struggled to heal themselves.

 

“No!” The Leanansidhe shrieked.

 

Tony, hell all of the Avengers winced, at the screechy tone.

 

“I’ll bring my counterparts dog to heel and we shall see how you do against the cold of a Winter’s Knight!”

 

“That sounded like a title.” Tony said as he sent a couple of his smaller rockets winging towards her. “I heard capital letters in that sentence!”

 

The rockets didn’t even make her flinch, though her long red hair haloed off of her head as she twisted her hands in a complicated pattern. Shouting an indecipherable word that sounded like static in Tony’s head.

 

A rip tore its way through the air horizontally. Leaving a gash in the sky that made Tony breathless for a long moment before he realized that all he could see on the other side of the hole was another city street. No space or Chitauri to be seen.

 

The rip held steady for a moment before it flashed and dropped a man through it and down to the pavement below.  The fall was nearly two stories high and the lanky man flailed for a moment before he twisted, catlike, and landed on his feet in a crouch that probably should have broken his legs but didn’t even make him flinch.

 

He stood up. And up and up and up. At least six and half feet tall, maybe more, Tony estimated.

 

The elegant leather trench coat that the stranger was wearing wound around his legs in sinuous waves. The trees, few though they were on the abandoned street, stood still and silent without a single ruffled leaf from a passing breeze.

 

Tony found it a very rare occurrence for people who generated their very own dramatic breeze to be the good guys. 

 

But the man, a little wild eyed, seemed to have been ripped away from where ever he had been without a by your leave and Cap liked to give people the benefit of the doubt; so against his better judgement Tony held his fire.

 

The Leanansidhe giggled girlishly and the man turned and looked up towards her. His eyes tracking up to meet hers froze when they landed on Tony ensconced in his suit.

 

“Oh Hell’s Bell’s. Who the fuck are you?”

 

Steve sighed hard over the Comms but Tony couldn’t resist straightening up and wiggling the fingers of one hand at the stranger.

 

“I am Iron Man.”

 

Tony had never been a man known for his restraint so he added in a dramatic aside, hand held up beside his face to hide his not at all visible lips, “Also Cap doesn’t really appreciate foul language.”

 

The tall man eyed him dubiously for a moment and his lips looked ready to sneer into a series of prolific curse words when his gaze continued up and landed on The Leanansidhe. His face twisted into a baleful grimace.

 

“Why have you brought me here? I don’t believe my Godmother would be pleased with your theft.”

 

The Leanansidhe sniffed imperiously before she spoke. 

 

“ You are the Winter Knight.” She shrieked. “You have already given up your soul to the Fae. It hardly matters if they are from your dimension or this one. Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden, you will kill the Avengers.” Her voice nearly squeaked it was so high pitched. “Kill them all!”

 

Tony thought the man, Dresden apparently, had looked pissed before. He was wrong.

 

“I believe you’ve made a mistake Leanansidhe.”

 

Dresden’s voice was a smooth baritone that kind of made Tony want to tuck his nonexistent tail between his legs and flee off into the sunset yelping.

 

It was all smooth sophistication and silky threat with a rumbling growl building behind it.

The Fae’s hair puffed up in outrage seemingly oblivious to the heat that was beginning to permeate the air.

 

“What possible mistake could I have made Knight? Do as you’re told.”

 

Dresden sighed deeply for a moment before he reached into his trench coat and pulled out a cudgel. A cudgel that glowed with flaming runes that covered its surface with an eery light.

 

“You’ve made several, bitch. You pulled me from the wrong dimension. Mispronounced my  _ name.  _ And dragged me away from the first dinner date I’ve been able to finagle in over a month.  _ Exuro! _ ”

 

Both of Tony’s hands flew upwards as he instinctively flinched backwards from the roaring gust of flame that had erupted from the cudgel.

 

The flame slid easily over the shield that the Fae had erected and seemed to probe at the edges of the cracks, testing for weaknesses.

 

The Leanansidhe’s eyes seemed ready to bug out of her skull as the flame finally pried its way into her shield, cracking it like a giant egg.  

 

As soon as it had gained entrance into the magical shell the flame expanded with a violent  _ fwoomp  _ and consumed the Fae queen in an instant.

 

The sudden brightness of the explosion left Tony, and he assumed the others, seeing stars. So it took him a couple of seconds to blink his eyes enough to regain his vision.

 

Ash fell gently down from where the queen had been, like so much dark snow, and liberally coated the man that had just, handily, murdered a being of near limitless magical power.

 

Dresden shook his head hard, the low slung ponytail at the back whipping vigorously as he did so, as he tried to dislodge some of the cremated remains.

 

“I just,” Dresden said dangerously, “Got this coat dry cleaned.”

 

“Uh.” Tony said intelligently. “You can send me the bill.”

 

_ The bill would arrive less than a week later in a flash of flame.  Tony gingerly placed a couple of crisp hundred dollar bills on it and they, along with the bill, disappeared just as quickly as the bill had appeared leaving exact change. _

 

_ Tony may or may not have performed a variety of experiments on the coins and bills to see if there was anything weird about their composition. _

 

Tony winced and raised his hands to bare his repulsors when the air split open again. This time the, it should be impossible damnit, portal opened up at street level.  Tony had thought that he was the reigning king of nonchalant sauntering, in this universe at least. The man that deliberately strolled through the portal was dressed in a beautifully tailored suit and could have taught Tony a thing or two about appearing blase about outrageous situations. 

 

The portal held steady behind him without so much as a flicker of apparent effort.

 

Ice chipped green eyes skimmed balefully over the assembled Avengers and found them all wanting. The eyes warmed slightly when they landed on Dresden's hulking soot covered form though. 

 

"Really darling, if you wanted out of going to the Opera that badly I would have obliged you. There's no need to be dramatic."

 

"You would have obliged me snidely." Dresden responded dryly, "You would have been insufferable about it."

 

The newly arrived man shrugged elegantly even as he adjusted his cuffs with precision.

 

"Still, perhaps better to accept my shortcomings than have yourself wrenched forcefully through portals into alternate dimensions."

 

"How is this my fault? She thought I'd sold my soul and decided that I'd make as a good a fly swatter as anybody."

 

Tony felt his jaw drop open with indignation, but before he could protest being compared to an insect he felt a solid thud as Cap none too gently rapped the back of his armor with his shield.

 

How Steve could manage to boomerang the shield that far was another question that plagued Tony's insomnia induced hallucinations.

 

Both of the men turned sharply when they heard the distinct clang of metal on metal. Tony would have shuffled his feet like a sheepish school boy but he was currently floating a good two stories up so he had to maintain his balance and keep his feet stable.

 

Thor sidled up to the two men. Before this Tony would have been willing to bet that the alien god was completely incapable of being sheepish in any setting but Thor fiddled with his hammer a little nervously as he drew the two dimensional travelers attention to him.

 

Dresden gave Thor a suspicious once over, taking in the cape and helmet with a sardonic smirk that didn’t have a lot humor in it. 

 

“I don’t suppose you know Gard?” 

 

Thor winced apologetically and tilted his head forward.

 

“Aye. The Lady Segrun is known to me, though I do not know if she is the same person of which you speak or merely our worlds reflection of her.”

 

“Wonderful. Do give her our best; and explain how  _ irritated _ I will be if I am forced back into this particular dimension ever again.” Dresden said with a low snarl before he spun on his heel and stalked back through the still open portal.

 

His...partner? Eyed Thor more thoughtfully than he had the rest of the Avengers and seemed poised to say something when Dresden’s voice resonated out through the portal with enough bass to echo a little in the still mostly deserted streets.

 

“So help me John if you try to finagle any sort of deal with that lot of comic book characters I will not be held responsible for my actions.”

 

“Yes I know,” John drawled, “You so rarely are.”

 

Dresden popped his head back through the portal with narrowed eyes.

 

“I’m pretty sure  Die Zauberflöte started a few minutes ago. We wouldn’t want to miss the tragedy that is operatic music so let’s go.”

 

“Ah very well darling. Charmed I’m sure to meet all of you. Good evening.”

 

If John had been wearing a hat Tony was pretty sure that he would have tipped it before he strolled, just as nonchalantly as before, back through the portal. The portal easily slid closed without a whisper of sound and Tony and the rest of the Avengers were left in an uneasy clump of ash dusted super heroes for several long minutes.

 

When no further disturbances seemed likely Tony finally let his feet touch the ground again.

 

He rubbed his gauntlets together for a moment, wincing a little at the screeching noise, before he spoke again.

 

“Well if you’re all as fucking unsure as I am what just happened I hope that we can all come to an agreement to treat this as either a drug induced nightmare or a collective hallucination. If we do that we can go home and go to bed. Yay or nay?”

 

“Yay”. Every single Avenger, even Thor for goodness sake, agreed in a monotone voice before they all started to trudge back to the Quinjet.

 

Tony thought about mocking them a little bit before he decided that he was probably just as tired as the rest of them and he started to shuffle after them companionably.

 

There was always time for mockery tomorrow after they’d had a shower and slept after all.

**Author's Note:**

> So I know this is a little rough but I've been out of the writing game for a while and this is me dipping my toes back into the water so to speak. Hope you guys liked it. :D


End file.
